The Ranting

-Shit Sandwich-

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 08:42:27 GMT

It's my turn....

I tried to tell a friend of mine what was bothering me today.....

We were both in the break room and I usually listen to her drone on for hours about life and her significant other. This is the way it is ........the way it always seems to be. I am the friend you might refer to as the "sponge" that caring segment of your life that will sit there and listen to every problem under the sun. " Ash I have this rather alarming foot odor etc...." "Why doesn’t he like me Ash?" My replies vary based on the friends context or mood. The foot odor thing would probably receive a humorous response.....like "Try some gold bond or go see a doctor!"........On a normal basis I try to execute my words in a more humble and mature manner. "Ashley Mixon the advice giver" it should be a neon sign lit up high above my self anointed crown. As usual I digress far away from the point........So we were sitting there and I finally said, "I feel really sad today". She asked me what was wrong and when it finally came to me mentioning what the problem was..........I couldn’t respond. I knew exactly what it was and why, but I just couldn’t spit it out. I felt if I told her everything and the way I felt everyday.....It might be bothersome. I felt as though by telling her my problem I would be a terrible friend. Like my soul purpose in life is to take care of everyone else. My friend isn’t the problem ....I am. There are probably two friends on the planet I can spill it to. One of them I see once and a while the other lives fairly far away. I think that is what really has been bothering me. I need that friend that I can tell anything to that wont give me that same superficial "That sucks" or "Everything will be ok." I sound fairly cynical right now........

My other friend received this text last night from a lady friend, she was saying that she wanted to move away and no one cared and such. While she may have been feeling this way due to circumstance.........I have that feeling everyday of my life. Sad to say it’s been proven to me habitually since I was a child. I’m not pulling the dramatics out of a hat or feeling sorry for myself. That is a huge waste of time....but I will say people really don’t care for one another anymore. We never take the time to help one another unless it is beneficial to us. Sad part is I do care ............I care way too much for people that don’t think twice about me. That has never really held me back from doing something for another human being...........but every once and a while you expect someone to reciprocate. Oh well.

Yesterday.......

I came to the realization that the person I thought was answer to everything wasn’t. My end all be all wasn’t that at all. Two and a half years of going back and forth in my head ........dealing with feelings of confusion, heartbreak, and feeling sorry for myself................and it was all for a false hood. I put this person on nothing more that a pedestal that no individual would be able to live up to. So becoming aware of this just led me to break down.

I am a strong person and I’ll get over it.....and the usual means I attack life alone and with great force. The more upset I grow the more I pick up extra shifts at work.......Work is great because it allows you to forget anything is actually going on with your life. At work your not really able to worry about yourself......the focus is on the job. Paperwork ........filing.......employees.......customers .........attractive co workers.........charities.......meetings ........etc...... It’s really not this person either.....I’ve been over all of this for about a year now. It just shocks me that I once felt the way I did.... about someone I apparently didn’t know....

Man my friends treat me like shit....

This really fucking hurts.

Oh well.

Ashley Mixon Out.

Self doubt... burn'n those bridges down!

Mon, 22 May 2006 17:04:01 GMT

Walking with a Ghost

Mejia use to always give me the fortunes of the the cookies.....here was mine today --->"Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom."

It always seems that in my time of need, my parents have never been there. Strange for most it’s quite the opposite. I could be wrong and this could all be a dramatic display of angst due to the repercussions of the phone call I just made……….

I’m at work right now….. and if you know me and or my job, you know I work at the Mission Inn. Right now is down time for the concierge, which means I’m sitting on my ass typing this entry. Don’t get me wrong I love the job and it pays rather well, but I’m just so sick of these bull shit jobs. I need to go back to school, if not to feel whole again. I loved the Art Center, but I’m broke as hell and can’t afford to take out $200,000, for 3 years of college. I’m trying to make it out to Chicago and every time I try something “comes up” or puts a screeching halt to my dream. I’m working 6 days a week to pay my bills of and be debt free. It’s just been hard….. My parents haven’t provided me with a leg to stand on. I filled out my fafsa on my own and guessed their earnings. It left me with nothing…. I think they gave me $2,000 in financial aid for a $200,000 school. Sometimes I just don’t understand why they are the way they are. I hate complaining about it because I’m 20 years old and I sound like a child……but it’s just frustrating. I digress …….

I just finished a telephone conversation with my mother……I needed to use her credit card number to apply online to Columbia of Chicago. I would have paid her in cash of course…she refused. Saying “You need to take care of some things first”. Ok if you know me well, you would have also known I went through this last December before applying to Art Center. The things I need to take care of are my bills and I was financially irresponsible last year…To say the least I’ve grown up a great deal and turned it around. Even the loan I have to take out for school….I have to use my incompetent grandmother as a co borrower. So now the true colors are starting to come out… she doesn’t want me to leave. If it was up to her I would attend RCC for 4 years and then go to a Cal State….. fuck that. Don’t get me wrong Cal States are great schools but it’s just not for me. I need to be out on my own. I’m starting to feel more and more like Lauren…. Now I understand. So once again I’m going at something totally alone…. The only comforting feeling is knowing I have God on my side.

I thought this was pretty freakin funny..

Only some will star the skies.......

Mon, 15 May 2006 21:56:55 GMT

Only believers in death with die....

After a couple of years away I have decided to return to my roots. Fuck Xanga and Bees! -Luv Ashley

Yo Mamas got an afro with a chin strap!

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 03:40:40 GMT

Yay for tag and art shows!!!! It all started with a call from Mr. Emilio informing me about the Art Center grad show. So I ventured down to the ever beautiful Pasadena and strolled around for a bit, then met up with Emilio and the gang for the show. To say the least it was amazing, although I felt like a peon of a human being, it was truly inspiring. I hope to be half as good someday. I've decided to apply to School of the Art Institute of Chicago, it will be more difficult but I'm just going to have to cross my fingers and hope to get in. My portfolio is about done, wish me luck and if you can pray for me please!

What the hell is Tazo Tea?

It moved!!!! Only at Art Center.

I want talent!

Lust for food. Rawr.
Chillaxin

Sweater thief!

Space and lots of it..Rayan's new place.

Us kids pre night tag extravaganza!

Emilio still sporting my hoodie shows us his lavish room.

Wishful thinking Good times. I lost twice at night tag, what a shame. I hid in the same place twice, behind the shower curtain... haha All in all it was a great weekend. =) I'm so happy for everyone it seems like everything is working out! Ok well I need to get to work.......... Yep...

Down with soap on a rope!

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:09:30 GMT

Moving in stereo.....

"When you understand," Brandy says, "That what you're telling is just a story. It isn't happening anymore. When you realize the story you're telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan," Brandy says, "Then we'll figure out who you're going to be." -Invisible Monsters

I smiled today....

Pain

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 13:59:05 GMT

The atlantic was born today and i'll tell you how...
The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flood lands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

And so it was......

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 11:00:21 GMT

Loss of significance, no trace of compassion. A cold blooded creature little known, little shared, yet remained nameless to those who knew him best. What can be said for that which has no name, no attribute to be recognized?............................He was everything and nothing......., an insignificant particle of life that only an odd girl would claim as her own...........I miss you -no name- 2004-10-11-2004

Yeah my gold fish died today................I think I just get to darn attached to those little guys.... I dunno what happened, my theory is the following ;Vic and my gold fish got into some sort of fight and I guess the little guy lost. Vic is the biggest jerk in the world........well for a koi....eh le sigh .......just makes me so sad, I didn't even name him =(....Eh oh well.....

This week has been a little crazy, sometimes I wish things could just run smoothly. I guess I've never been one to live in the real world.............Life can be hard sometimes...(and I'm not talking about the damn gold fish, I liked him but I know any one else can care less). I read most of the LJs, of friends and related, realizing that when you boil it down we are all initially the same. All of these cliche issues that are always left un-addressed . What a vicious cycle of ignorance and frustration. It will all be ok one day...........I hope =T. In the mean time there is always the simple things ...................and the only thing she could do was gaze in awe...Just thought I would thrown in a cup of good 'ol Cheer!

Finally his time arrived, take a long walk off a short bridge.......

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 08:43:51 GMT

For what its worth

Processing information, man or machine? .......

Elves and gnomes prance about my very thoughts, reality or just a bad cup of coffee? Starting all over was always a fail safe, denial a bad habit never controlled. Running until your arteries burst, and sweat becomes blood, goals unreachable ....................dreams lost. Time..............is ......the .... enemy. Clutch a cross for comfort, kneel before Christ for conviction. A faceless wonder walks among the masses, rain is a friend.....not warm.........but a steady cool..............Umbrellas fill the crowded streets, the rythm of water to earth is unsettling. The slight frost, chill, shudder.............................All windows currently open, doors locked. Light breaks through darkened clouds, the soul is set free. Tears surrendered to completion sink slowly, as-vault washed memories that fade in time. A smile hidden by wisps of hair, and the endeament carried with it, cynical dispositions fleeding..................I am happy now ....

.

There is only so much I can say, until my words have lost all meaning. My repetitive ramblings become bad lyrics to a played out song........

To: anyone that I have offended or struck a bad cord,

From the bottom of my heart I apologize

Fin

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 08:38:27 GMT

Oh today today today.......................

My life is no routine ..........but......

The first thing I look at when I open my eyes...........is..... the window, sad to say it determines my mood for the day. It's amazing such a little thing has such an impact, when I looked out the window there were clusters of beautiful RAIN CLOUDS!!!!! Oh Oh Oh I was sooooooo happy, thats not even a good word lets just say ecstatic. Simple minds simple pleasures I guess but honestly nothing makes me more pleased than to see some clouds, I love to dance in that rain. Ok ok I'm odd but you know I just don't care, I honestly don't feel the need to complain about how terrible the world is. We as human beings are so fixed on the idea that we are all tortured souls, maybe you should take a closer look at your surroundings. Pressures, anxiety, hate.......................I can spend years building these up (and have), but what does this really accomplish. All this stress and hatred, ect........ just leads to more self consumption and insecurities. So Basically simple pleasures carry me through life, I was never one that needed anything. I am blessed to the core, and need no more.....hehehe Im so lame.

Things I enjoy

Palm tree silhouettes
Rain Clouds
Lightning Storms
Running through sprinklers
Watching people
Running my hands through a bag of beans or grain
The faint scent of flowers caught in breeze
Listening to accents from a distance
Dancing in the rain while people stare O_O
Walking at night, listening to a favorite CD.
Skipping rocks
Looking at the stars
Cloud shapes
Swimming as far as humanly possible (till the water looks shifty)
Feeding ducks
Letting the wind wisp through my hair
Being held
Running in no specific direction
Chasing sea gulls
Watching my dog choke on a hot dog
Looking at light patterns
Attempting to draw
Walking into the unknown
Climbing trees
Shuffling on a rooftop
Hiding a tear
Looking at broken glass
Bottle caps
Playing the water glasses
Digging my feet into the sand
Listening to a friend in time of need
Creating fake DJ names
Catching fire flies
Giant Cups Of Bad Coffee

What I love .........................the thought that it just really isn't that bad.

"Pain is something man must endure in his heart, and since the heart feels pain so easily some believe life is pain."

We have all been through so much, each under different circumstances, but please take a moment and look outside. I mean really look, not at the track homes or that neighbor that just irritates you to the max............but at that flower/infamous weed impostor, growing out of a crack in the side walk. Thats what it's all about people, I know you all want to have me committed .....but I just want it to be known that sometimes its the insignificant factors in life that can change the perceptions of one eccentric Italian girl and make life just that much better.

Oh you kids kill me.............

I'm Such a fuck up!

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 04:45:07 GMT

Down Tempo...

I wish for just one second in my life I could prove to my parents that I am not boarder line retarded. I hate the fact that every thing can be going Ok, I can lift my eyes away from the fucking pavement and have some confidence. As soon as gain just a little happiness and self respect, something terrible happens. I hate going on and on about something like this, I realize every one has problems and the world suffers. Sometimes I need to focus on self improvement though. I spent the day with my mother, we went to various places. It was nice, but I also realized how much I miss her not being home. She's always away taking care of my grandmother (who is mentally unstable). My mom comes home in under depression, I hate watching it. It makes the whole home life formidable. The tension is always high, and then I get sucked up into these ridiculous arguments over school and money. She thinks I will amount to a whole lot of nothing, same goes with my dad. My whole goal in life is to prove them both wrong, I always let them down. They say to go to school and gain a admirable future for yourself, all we are really trying to do is prove to somebody somewhere that we can make it through. I just wish for once I could do it. I don't want fucking pity from anybody, I just want to know how an individual can change. I need to stop being so selfish and be there for my mom. There are times when its hard to know which way to go..............I just pray that I will amount to something so they can be proud, and I can hold my head high (or eye level) and not feel guilty for coming home. I miss being 6 going out on the lawn picking dandi lions, counting the rolli pollis on the side walk. When you’re six nothing matters the sky could fall and I would still be counting rolli pollis. I don’t wish to be a child again, I enjoy resonsibility. I just truly miss the way I veiwed the world, the innocence untainted by cynical ideals. I’m tired of crying in the mirror when no ones looking............................................. cause thats not emo......X_x

It just grew legs and walked away ....................What are u looking at? O_O

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 08:32:00 GMT

This has been....

One on two, the perspective changed.....No more life expenses. The dollar value was set a zero. Deals were made people died yada yada yada. Shutting the blinds meant turning on a lamp. It was never for certain where the bitterness went, maybe it was all repressed. The mirror is spattered with paste and droplets of water, excess of what was never used. Collecting the thoughts...............fileing...........processesing ............fileing........ sweeping away..........Cleaning house will have to be put off another day.

Good Grief.........I am really fed up with ranting about my day, so maybe I will rant about ranting about my day ...........uh noooo....screw that...Truth is my days really aren't all that bad. Somethings that surround me really bother me though. The police called my house today about 10:30pm, my brother was apparently at the park acting like an idiot, I don't really want to go into it but ..........yeah. My dad is been on my case all day, I had to teach him to use the internet x_X. Then I get cussed out for knowing how? WTF ....I like how my mom is hardly home....... Yeah what ever though... that's life.What do I know though?....

-I wanna live in a van down by the river!-

Matty at work!

John and Matt ............What would I do with out you guys? Matty is on the pursuit and I am O so proud, I hope things work out he deserves it. As for John I’m not quite sure what he’s up too....What a mysterious guy. He does kick though..

Where did all the flavor go?...

Michele & Lauren how are you kids long time no see? Hang out ? Yes No Circle One

---------John is the Very Best!-------------

Dive off the deep end!

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 00:39:27 GMT

What happens to the lost.........

It’s hard sometimes to gather all the aspects your life and make sense of what encompasses it. We strive for a common goal of happiness and tranquility, how ironic that in order to gain such a state you must endure the opposite. The tyranny of those who seek to destroy common decency and the beauty of humanity. The light dimmed by corruption and depression. We were once so beautiful, emoting compassion and breathing life. All that remains is the empty bottle,the metaphor of a journey never ventured. The chances left on the table, absorbed regret. Forgotten promises now swept away, and it will never be the same.

How many times have we all had a chance to do something that would change our lives for the better? We hold back because of this fear that consumes our minds. Leave it at the door step and take a chance…..

"Monkey Ass Drop!"

Thu, 27 May 2004 07:40:45 GMT

You are Michael Bolton.

You're kind of geeky and you share the same name
with a no-talent ass clown. I'm sorry.

Which Office Space Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sat, 22 May 2004 05:19:33 GMT

The Concrete Jungle!

The apparition of a dream so far away. The stature of a mundane society reflects only the outside of an individual. We establish nothing yet seek to gain everything. The distraction of social mediocrity and tyranny of those who dwell outside of it. Faces now hidden behind shrouds of discontent and insecurity. We try to do it all and fail miserably, leaving us that much more unhappy. I am the amoebae of a society I conform to the will of a higher democracy, I bow down to the advertising gods. I worship my attire! I have no feeling or persona, only a dollar burring holes in my denim pockets. Welcome to the dystopian population.

- Do the Moon-Walk like it ain't no thang!-</center>

The Pub

LA

It’s so cute!

This says it all!
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Hill and I

Mejia all worried about the critique.

-"Don't worry I speak Jive!"-

I just dont know what to say....

Thu, 13 May 2004 07:18:06 GMT

Its always hard to come to terms with the fact that life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. My aunt died today I was really close to her, sad thing is I can't attend the funeral because its in Ohio. It just really killed me and I feel so empty and alone. I don’t like telling my friends because they always feel like they need to say something profound and then, stop talking in fear of further suffering on my part. I’m not self-consumed person but, life just seems really difficult right now. I know that things will get better, I guess waiting for them is the hard part. I learned a lot in high school not academically (that you kind of have to do on your own time) but more about life in general. People have always confused me and I just don’t feel I am qualified to fit the mold, of society. Geeez I really want to cry right now I feel so pathetic, and I really wish I could have said good bye to my aunt. Sorry for whining. (sigh) I just want things to get a little better! I’m glad we always have tomorrow, that’s what I hope and live for. The next day! I’m trying really hard to be optimistic……..

-I have to start all over, realizing I don’t know anything....-

Why im sneaky!

Mon, 10 May 2004 01:00:03 GMT

-Then came the last days of theater……………-

Ok I wasn’t really a fan of the play, hence I hung out in the dressing room with Ben and Brice. To say the least we had a good time. I was a camera whore for a day/night, what can I say......... Oh and sorry to all you LJ people I know these pictures are huge I shall edit them later. Ok have a day every one!

Mike and I

The guys + the dog

Fight Club

Mike!

People

Dishing at Jacks!

BRICE!

What to do when in a dressing room!

Ben and I

Ben

Whatch OUT!

What is that?

David relax!

Ben and Kira ………….oh and me hehe!

Alex took this when I was playing with Drew’s lap top

Brice and the guns !

Sasha

Meg. And I

Us KiDs
Look who decided to show!

Where props go to die

Brice and I discussing love

Dustin and my brother "Dealin" I WANT SOME

Ben and I ......."It does smell like weed in here." -spivey

This is what you do when you loose everything!

Mon, 03 May 2004 04:18:35 GMT

What do you mean?

Undulation in time, an effect caused by an emotion that can never be recovered. The senses are alive with admiration of the world. The generation of lost wisdom and harsh brutality separated solely by pride and lack of compassion. Tears fall to the floor ………a photo of a childhood long lapsed, a happiness that seems it will never come again. Scattered thoughts dace upon an altar, built on the basis of insanity. Vain reality, the present embodies a lie. A cheap bottle of wine wrapped up in a brown paper bag, the next AA meeting is wed 8-9pm. Bring a desert! What was once held so dear, no longer holds value, and life becomes that much more frivolous…………….

Measure the divine quality of life; a drop here and there can be a devastating effect. Wisdom is the irrefutable evidence that no man can surpass my knowledge of the little known. Forever in debt to those who paid the price in blood, shallow are we to not recognize a substance in humanity……..leave all you ever wanted behind…………

Life is good people! GO FOR IT! Never look back and always remember to do what you love. When life gets rough pick up and addiction!

-Quotes-

- Invisible Monsters-
“Your birth is a mistake you’ll spend you whole life trying to correct.”

“You spend your whole life becoming God and then you die.”

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, get boring.”

“When did the future switch form being a promise to a being a threat?”

“The one you love, and the one that loves you, are never the same person.”

- My $300 a day habit had brought me to this point!-

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. –Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. –Chris Rock

I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.-George W Bush

If God dwells inside us like some people say....I sure hope he likes enchiladas, cuz thats what he's getting. –Jack Handey

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!-Robin Williams

-Key Board Confessionals-

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 04:51:40 GMT

Boiling Over

A million repressed memories faded into a stream of guilty pleasures, the dog that died,another best friend taken into the earth. A life with held from the word, a shadow is cast, a figure of what was once there. The facade of our generation, all that remains is faded anamnesis, a hope for more. Hallow corpses pump gas and vanish in to the distance, the irascible ramblings of a tired old man.………..Tears offer no comfort, yet one more shall stream down my cheek……..Blank faces; vacant rooms, superficial words ……all the world has to offer! ..… and I continue to suffer……

Aside from all the terrible things that happen around me, I’m doing quite fine. I like movies a bit too much I imagine…….. Oh well they make me happy. Simple pleasures I think that’s what makes me an odd girl, I just enjoy finding the things that make life great. There aren’t too many but I try my best to be optimistic.

My parents are doing the, we are divorced inside the house again, I’m just so tired of this. Honestly I don’t want to talk about it on a live journal …………………

“LET ME SEE YOUR WAR FACE! AHHHHHH!! THAT’S A WAR FACE.”

“The duality of mankind.”

-More reasons to be Antisocial-

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 06:17:25 GMT

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<center - It all comes down to the ranting and ramblings of your local neighbor -</center>

Present in the physical sense, the past takes the mental state back in time flickering images of what has been forgotten. A book bound with empty pages, a bottle of 151 with a broken seal, this is reality…….Time slowly passes by, the storm gathers ………tears now dry, memories repressed, a writer with a superficial passion, an artist with a synthetic dream………..the canvas remains unfilled a brush encased in anger. LET IT OUT! I am the product of a chaotic society, it was my parents, and it was the all the people I never knew, hell it was Starbucks. Take your pick, truth is it was you all long, the therapist seen weekly, the open bottle of Zoloft next to your cinnamon dental floss. The answering machine leaves no comforts, the red light flashes “0”, who are you now? Perception………..manipulation……………What lie will you buy into this week? That’s right go for the flask and your “Cosmo” magazine. You are this!………and this ………and this. Pick up the telephone book, flip through, see how many are actually your friends, go ahead………………………………………………………ok you’re at “Z” how many do you have? That’s what I thought. You turn on the Radio… Lies manipulation…..but that’s all in ones perception. How do you feel this week are you susceptible? This is the you that “they” never see the you hidden behind a door and curtains, the mini-blinds are your security. Cigarette? You look terrible. Theres a knock a the door its 2:00pm, your in the close that you slept in. They wreak of depression, so answer the door already! Ahhh for get it go back to “Cosmo” I hear Joan Rivers went under the knife again! This is what you live for, your life is a routine with a high and low. You are in the low of that cycle. It is hardly over for you, stop thinking this is it, and this is not an after school special, a razor blade has no value to you. So answer me who are you this week? This is why you need to get happy………………-a.m. My Outlet………

<center><img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/ilikemyself.jpg></center>

<center>"When deep space exploration ramps up,
it will be corporations that name
everything. The IBM Stellar Sphere.
The Philip Morris Galaxy. Planet
Starbucks." Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk

"For six months, I couldn't sleep.
With insomnia, nothing is real.
Everything is far away. Everything
is a copy of a copy of a copy.”-Fight club, Chuck Palahniuk</center>

<center>For John</center>
<center>"I was always interested in films that scar."
~David Fincher~ </center>

<marquee>“Bonding”</marquee>
<center><img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/mallrats.jpg></center>

<center> <img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/mallrats_dorothy.jpg></center>

Went out with the boys, I had a great time. I hope I didn’t bother them too much though, John and Matt are really great people. John seems bit down lately ( I really hope that its just me), seriously I know he will be something great one day. These are things you just know, I don’t I just feel it when I meet people. That sounds so ridiculous, but it’s true. I think Matt will do something totally out of the ordinary and unexpected. Impressions you gather from conversations. Michele well she is really good with kids and a marvel when it comes to negotiating so I’m thinking shes going to venture into the business world and come home early to see the kids. Lauren I think is going to have a nice house in suburbia and have a nice picket fence with a dog running about the yard. As for my self I hardly know, in the meantime I’ll do my best not disgrace the family name. It’s difficult to exactly what to do…. I just keep on hoping for something better….

<center> <img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/librarylg.jpg></center>
<center>Scott Mutter</center>

<center>Light Booth</center>
<center><img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/DSC00658-1.jpg></center>

<center><img src=http://img31.photobucket.com/albums/v93/Lenorehathgone/DSC00663-1.jpg></center>

There is something in the water!

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 06:25:07 GMT

“If your frightened of dyeing and your holding on…….You’ll see devils tearing your life away……….
But .....

If you’ve made you peace the devils are really angels………….. freeing you from the earth.”- Jacobs Latter

Same old bottle of Yoohoo!

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment,
it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle

"If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle

"We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that
is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well,
all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle

"It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind.
Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle

-NOTICE!-

Every one has taken ill, ladies and gentlemen the plague has hit the vicinities of Corona. You can not run or hide it is here to stay. The symptoms are similar to the common cold so watch out, it could hit in a neighborhood near you!

Matt and John are both sick poor guys, I hope they feel better.

Michele and Lauren………..I think they have taken up residence in Mexico, to say the least they better bring me back some firecrackers! (and a poncho)! So besides my friends missing that is all I have to say, I’d rather not drone on about the uneventful life I posses. I like it but you might not, so there……..^_-

Have a great week everyone!

I really miss Speedy!

-Total Nirvana-

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 05:12:45 GMT

What to do with timmy?

“Your music is Chinese water torture, turn it off.”-my dad hahahahahaha

Can it be that all these years I have been blind, powerless to describe the every day comings and goings of the world at hand. If so then what is my vision? Maybe we see what we want to? Building up a facade macrocosm, plaguing ourselves with despondent thoughts and painful memories. Bleeding not in the physical sense, slowly dyeing from the inside out. This is what created total alienation from the human race. Living in a 4x4 world envisioning only torn images, burnt ashes, and glasses that remain half emphty………….The past remains an unspoken a story, a father, a real delusion. What lie will I fall victim to this week………..Time will tell…

- Yeeah yeeah I wanna give a shout out to my homies chattin in up on da AIM dizzle Matt, John, you know who you are SUCKAS hollar -

Dishwasher

What has been accomplished this week?………………………………Ummm ……………..Yeah. Eh I should feel bad but I really don’t we are on break. I know as soon as I get back I’ll have Mejia to unrelentingly bother me. So no worries for now, just need to leave the house every once and a while. Wow my dog just took off with some of my guitar tabs, …………………..hmmm well they aren’t very legible anymore. Blar my dog………..Let’s just say it’s a love hate relationship! With pets no matter how much they piss you off, you just can’t stay mad, and they have the whole innocence factor going on. With people it is a totally different story, human beings have a brain (well most of the time) and they know what hurts you. That is why, I try really hard to watch what I say. Unless I loathe you, nah even then I just don’t want to be the down ward spiral of someone’s day. No one deserves that! Even you Jimmy- hahaha no in all seriousness I rather just make myself invisible which is a rather easy thing to do in high school. My dad is ranting again its great man I love being me, I swear to god if I were doing stand up this stuff would be GOLD. “You know Ashley I bet your friends think you’re a big pain in the ass, cause I know I do!”-He that shall be called I AM. This is all such a big joke to me I know it shouldn’t be, but after years of bull shit you learn to slam the door while periodically laughing you ass off. This is what makes life great though, the day you realize that just doesn’t matter.

Matt is awesome! onnudidunno: subtle as a fat man on pringles.

GO GARY! GO GARY! GO GO !

Wachoo Talkin Bout Everybody!

hmmmmmm....yeah what ever you say!

"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn

My thought as of right now!

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 05:17:15 GMT

-JOHN IS COOL!-

Give me some easy breeze.............

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 00:34:45 GMT

-Fear and Loathing in San Diego-

-“I’m a Doctor of Journalism Damn It!!!!”-

Hmmm now I know why I don’t travel with the journalism crowd. Assume fetal position when sleeping with Jarett, when it is too cold to sleep on the floor you do what you can to get by. Nah it was definitely a good time, the woman to woman and “Austin” bonding was splendid. Sad thing is, the only thing I could think about the whole time was getting back home and finishing the portfolio. Oh well though that is why I’m odd, Sleep time……………

Austin

Watching movies on a laptop.

Alex thanks for catching us at our worst!

I went for a long walk on Saturday night………………….this was the product

Nadia haha!

HMMMM! I have an Idea lets build a fort!

This is why I love you guys………… revolting mess

- OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!-</center>

-HoBo StAtUs- ooooohhh baby !

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 05:12:40 GMT

-NOTICE -

Ashley has been stolen by, Journalism. She is being fed a slice of bread and a glass of water every 48hous!

Existence can be an interesting process; the trials experienced by those before us have destroyed what we view as consequential to daily life. Pain consumes the hearts of the masses, the unrelenting force of power swells and ignorance reins. What can be said about the loneliness that allows the heart to dwell in fear of itself, shutting the curtains to an even worse society. Detachment is the gateway to freedom, but at what price? Gaining true liberation is impossible, and the rectification of the past would never be realized. What are we here for? The answer remains is the proposition, we are here to expand upon the given talents posed by those who seek to enrich their lives. We are not slaves just “consumer whores”, that feed upon the weak and generate a disposable life. So light a candle, clutch your cross, open a flask …………………..its not concluded…

Today was fairly odd and to add to the ridiculousness of its content I looked like shit. I am not a vein or shallow person, but I took up the hobo status today. Oh well though I guess everyone gets one day to look like that. Hmmmmmmm I have taken three. Its all good I never have been one to make a mark in high school, the results never pleased me. That is all ……………………

Productivity at its finest !

NEWMAN!!

-Justin THE WASTE -

iNsOmNiA

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 00:54:19 GMT

My Room is Clean

Saturday what a day……

I was up by 6:30 out the door by 8: ………..something. Lauren, Michele, Michele and I had yet another mini adventure in the vicinity of Corona’s glorious out skirts. There is always something to see! Then unfortunately we had to return to that repugnant sweatshop that we recognize as journalism!!!!! After that I dropped in to pay Mejia a visit, I reluctantly was sucked into to dropping of artwork in Riverside. It was a good time, Hillary is a cool chick (I was with her, the way there and back). After that I went to Michele’s for a little while, we took a nap on the floor it was great (we also……….had a tea party, talked about witless boys, watched steal magnolias, had a pillow fight, and played with make-up ^_- ). So just as I thought my night was over I retired to my humble home. I gently set out all my brushes and painting accessories, go online………………and who should show up but good old Matt. I was invited to attend the viewing of Dawn of the Dead, and I did attend. The movie was awful (even thought it did have a Richard cheese cover song), the guys were great! I felt really bad though, because I thought I was being lame the whole time and ruining things. Matt reassured me I wasn’t but there was still that glimmer of doubt. The conversations were nice, abortion anyone? After the movie we journeyed to Denny’s where we discussed the a plethora of odd and end topics. I finally went home around 2:00am, and stayed up till 4:00am. Thank you very much too all who made my Saturday grand! You are all very special to me, and I will look back fondly on the memories that you have helped to create. ^^

"Falling off" - the bunch

“When we don’t know who to hate we hate ourselves.”- Invisible Monsters</cneter>

Life is and incredible thing to waste!